I am endlessly fascinated by the stories behind the 24-hour news cycle that jostles for our attention: Beneath the sensationalism there is symbolism. Viewing events through the lens of symbolism we get a more comprehensive picture of what is truly going on in the world and in our lives.

Navigating the complicated and sometimes difficult task of living can be quite the challenge. And one of the more challenging aspects is our interaction with others. It is often said that if you feel yourself becoming more conscious and aware, spend a weekend with the family to see how solid your progress really is!

The quality of our relationships can be seen as a litmus test of our own attitudes and behavior. Forgiveness and its arch nemesis, Revenge joust for our attention as tools we can utilize to manage our interactions. Different sides of the same coin, which we choose to use is a matter of supreme importance as the implications are very different. Revenge has a forceful, seductively Shakespearean quality to it, evoking images of misaligned love affairs, giant power struggles and secrets swathed in dark drama and possible tragedy. By contrast, Forgiveness has a soft, soulful, light simplicity to it that can make it appear like a poor relation.

World politics, local power struggles, literature, films, TV, popular music: Stories of Revenge and Forgiveness abound in current affairs, human history and culture. This theme runs like a thread throughout the fabric of human connection.

The powerful emotion of Revenge clearly struck a universal cord when British Grammy Award winning singer/song writer Adele stormed the charts with her “get even” anthem “Rolling in the Deep”. Inspired by the shock and grief of a love affair gone horribly wrong, the sentiments and emotion of the song speaks to a collective human experience that resonates with all of us:

“See how I leave with every piece of you. Don't underestimate the things that I will do…”

The theme is no different than centuries before when British playwright William Congreve penned these lines in “The Mourning Bride” in 1697:

"Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor hell a fury like a woman scorned…"

For most of us, the dream of wreaking revenge on those we believe have hurt us usually remains exactly that, a dream. Our ego-self constantly reinforces its identity by holding the grudge with a painful pride: “I shall never forgive you for this…” is worn as a heavy cloak of perceived protection from further hurt.

What does carrying this leaden weight do for us? The only person this harms is oneself. Doctors and psychologists now understand the toll this heavy burden takes on our minds, bodies and souls: One of the more damaging aspects being to keep us in the past as we go over and over the same events keeping the hurt going. This weight is often passed from generation to generation unless a power much greater takes its place. A shift from Revenge to Forgiveness takes vision and courage but the rewards are huge and history bears this out. Tellingly, it is the stories of reconciliation and forgiveness that endure as seen by the powerful legacies of Forgiveness Master Craftsmen such Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., Nelson Mandela and Bishop Desmond Tutu.

In 1994 Immaculee Llibagazi survived the Rwandan genocide only to discover that Hutu soldiers had murdered most of her family. In her memoir “Left to Tell” she shares how her faith sustained her and led her to eventual forgiveness of her family’s killers. Today Immaculee speaks all over the world and was the recipient of the 2007 Mahatma Gandhi Reconciliation and Peace Award. A miraculous turn around fueled by the power of Forgiveness.

Making our own shift from holding a grudge to granting forgiveness is not easy: The sabotaging voice in our heads whispers an enticing warning, “if you forgive you’re condoning bad behavior”. It’s vital to turn this on its head: By choosing to forgive we shake off the negative effects upon our communities and ourselves, which is empowering in the best sense of the word. Empowered people understand that their strength and value cannot be under-mined and where we can come together with a unity of purpose we are stronger.

Possibly the most challenging part of all this is the ability to take responsibility for the part we play in the hurt story. Ironically forgiving ourselves can be even more complex but we must remember that to “err is human” and no experience is wasted. Everything we do is an opportunity to learn something new and to use the lesson to assist us in going forward. Ultimately forgiveness of self and others is a great big letting go: By leaving the emotional baggage in the Left Luggage locker we unburden ourselves and make room for a life filled with what really matters.

Thank you for reading. Together we can make the world a more elegant place.